Mariah

ima be a Globetrotter!

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 19:11:36 GMT

In Germany they start young
haha
Taken from Oktoberfest

check out more pics and stuff from this groups Travelogue:
http://mpvalkosky.googlepages.com/home?gclid=CKmu4Lvo8pYCFRLoxgodcXguAA

This broke college kid visited 11 European Nations.
I need Jensy to take me to germany, (if you guys dont know) i dated an authentic German baker boy, since i moved i haven't seen him, he was on vaca last time i was in town, anyway, another cool place:

Reykjavik Iceland:
A few years ago nobody could imagine that Iceland, the small island nation that sits between mainland Europe and Greenland, would ever be a budget travel destination. For years prices had been so prohibitively high that a backpacker could only experience Iceland in a cramped coach seat on its national airline. Times have changed.
-harsh geothermal terrain, endearing people and vibrant nightlife,
-The Blue Lagoon!

get inspired by icelands green revolution
http://www.thedailygreen.com/living-green/blogs/cars-transportation/renewable-energy-iceland-461126

-prague, Germany
-Eurail
-Items
http://www.backpackinglife.com/backpacking-gear.html
-"Let's Go Europe," the backpackers' bible to backpacking around Europe.
perhaps ill train hop someday but this is a start,
-Learn geography bisch

;D

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:46:03 GMT

Even tho i dont know Kelly..Blessings all love and light to her on this day!
things like this make me feel so alive somehow cus it just gets you to the core. death to me is somehow like birth...but anyway...

LJ! i am back...it has been a good few yrs w/out you =(
I had to go back and make a new password, as the old one and things that were once important are no more.

Today is beautiful,the twilight was so beautiful in the past 6hrs. it is now 9am...
I felt my Twin Soul all around me. i spent the Whole Entire Night (only about an hour of which-stoned) in some "Now" place that is almost too real, but after having a dream with him the other night i am absolutely determined to get there to him in New York. Just like he made it to see his hero Woodie Guthrie.i came up with 3 routes and calculated it all out. we are eachothers Angels,Father, brother, friend and love all in one. i miss him since 7/7/07 that is heck of a long time to wait just for eyes and heart to meet again. I have seen him a lot in dreams and in the astral plane, i am preparing...for the deepest most truest energy match, the fullness of my own soul...i cannot let go, it is a blessing but i think of him every single day.

traveling to NY alone is a bit intimidating, i just hope i make it there in a week.

finding this LJ is like finding missing pieces. WOW.
i realize also the ppl that actually used to listen to my posts, and thanks for all that love i used to recieve< nicole,manda,C, etc etc

I am so emotionally unrested as of this moment, i guess i am excited and anxious all in one.
I love you All!
So much
KNow that you are beautiful, today is all we have, now is all we have
To Be
As We Truly Are
~MC

piss

Mon, 12 Feb 2007 20:32:27 GMT

WHo thinks V-day sucks??
well this may make u feel better lol

i had a bf yesterday and then he ranted on an on about this girl hes attracted to.
details that make ya sick, she likes rainbows and types in pink! so basically he wanted me to tell him how to get there....and how long itd take, i said! mapquest bitch

anywho

Great just what i wanna hear from the boy who talked about having kids with me..

*sigh* should i sit by him in class

today is still a beautiful day, im going to b strong regardless of dickish boys

Sat, 03 Feb 2007 19:07:02 GMT

U know what. My last girl, and only girl was perfect for me...i miss it a lot.
right now this relationship im in feels like a struggle. im learning much, but i dont wanna struggle.
yesterday when my constellation(leo) was in the sky i felt amazing. i felt comlpetely on my path.

i realized ill be working with kids in the future. intuitive healing :D it would have been a cool opportunity to b with her while shes teaching to. Hopeless dreamer lol..

im reminded of when she said: Just live your lives ppl. so much truth....i admired her for that..i am too living this way now...and even tho im in other worlds all the time, thats fun! guess we tend to think limited by our signs

I want this..but my virgo wants everything analyzed n such, the moment and time is too precious! too precious!

simplify simplify, said thoreou.

so anyway, work today!
<3

baby baby please dont say (Baby)

Wed, 31 Jan 2007 17:56:58 GMT

lots been going on...yet..ironic things too.
i have a bf..he makes me happy. we have class together :P i think im sposta be with him right now regardless how much i want girls in my life. if anything we get along great.
but here's the deal, i want a beautiful gf much like the one i had, if not her. Is that wrong? she seems to have a nice relationship going on. i still think of her..every time n' again. not compulsively, regrettfully...just remembering her smiling face and wanting her closer.

Seems everyone im really close with wants to fuck. kinky is good, i understand this lol. can i deny this? should i? being open and to what comes my way. Where does moralities limits lie in the vast opportunity and experience we are dealt with. could it possibly be selfish, if i take it.
and then theres

just going with the flow...living ur life...no worries, regrets..nothing. just living.

He heals me, make me laugh and we act like lil kids.

as for the sex..bieng with a guy makes me realize how much more at ease with girls i am. he does get me pretty hott if u know what i mean..

maybe i just had a really wonderful gf, who could not plant a baby in me. that was nice.

lots going on...but its all good.

im happy i have all that i have right now

Just try to comprehent that which youll never comprehend. la la la

ive been cooped up with priorities i wanna have some fun. REALLY really really. just plain ol good times right know..just so you all know. :D

-Mariah

silly girl, trix r for kids

Sun, 21 Jan 2007 18:34:32 GMT

gotta think like a kid, as if i never hurt.

i dont like many ppl, but i know i loved her. ida spent my life with her...in whatever form it took. sometimes i cant help but feel sad bout it. she was special beyond words to me.
goodbye was long ago...when she found new gfs.

yet i never forgot her.
i never put life off, yet no one meant enough to me to dive right in!

shes going to find her true love perhaps. i know for her sake i should release it.....somehow i still long for her to be with me. to b in my life.

maybe i was clingy. i know she needed space to grow. i did too.
im open to new things, even tho she was the only girl i loved. thus far more than anyone, and truly. I would have done anything [now] to make her life beautiful and fun. i was in my own probs back then, now i can see clear.

so i love....until i forget completely. because whats no longer there.....and what was so meaningful is lost..in [time] in [misunderstanding] in [new lusts] in jealous ppl

but unconditional love...is where my heart is. My heart doesnt need to hurt ne more. i beleive she once really cared for me, but i dont know if thats true or when it shifted

but for now there was only one girl for me

until the universe unravels something for meh,
besides craving friends, and having no love life. im like the opposite of the ppl who never spend time alone in their thoughts. i do really well by myself, but i really want ppl to share it with.
in other words i love my classes. things are good in many wayz

blah blah blah.shutup

Mon, 09 Oct 2006 01:47:27 GMT

it hurts so bad i wanna scream, guess i was addicted to love. i feel so numb but not so much angry. guess ill just keep working my ass off in college, cus its gonna pay off..

Tue, 08 Aug 2006 05:28:21 GMT

love sucks. but love mends.

the smell of birthday candles = )

hilarious movie, and Josh and I got pics with Ricky Bobby :D !

i love my DAD.he made my day sweet. so did my mum with her klondike bar and singing candle.

sweet as fuck.

FIll each day. tommo is kayaking.

im 20 yrs old, there's no turning back, i just hope this year is so much better than the last. tho 19 was a good one..im an adult now, kinda cool i guess. i stayed up and talked to joel for 5 hrs, it was a memorable convo. we talked about so much cool shit. now im bored cus its tues. and uhh its about 5am and i just wakied about 10 mins ago.

Fri, 04 Aug 2006 10:28:02 GMT

Hi. i cant seem to sleep. i ate some reaaally good italiann food tonnite. spoke to tristan, might hang w/ josh tommo.

Wed, 02 Aug 2006 04:08:13 GMT

im fucking pissed. my mom keeps catching cats. i have a really scareed wild cat on the porch in a cage, waiting for morning, so he can get his balls cut off! cool..fuck that. i think its domintion, unnecessary induced fear, haulting procreation. in the longrun its ok i guess..but its just annoying, when nature is messed with. maybe its because humanity thinks they're good at controlling everything. ok omg.....i had to get that out. tommoro nite, ill see charles DJ. had a nice day.. been in a good mood overall. out

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 07:31:42 GMT

im finally sorting thru my stuff, gettin rid of the crap i dont need, it feels good. I thought a lot tonight about Julie and I's friendship , it was so long ago, but it was so awesome. she was my own Mel b = ).. i last talked to her when i first moved to FL, and i just recently found her on facebook.

i went running tonight! i called mum just in time tho, pouring down rain and lightning. i asked for my sign, and i swear lightning crashed down on the lake! life is lookin up but theres a lot of changes being made. where is my source of inspiration, where is my source of humor? i thought to myself today, how my thought patterns have changed from a child. alright so...thats a wrap.

rainy day moment

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 08:46:55 GMT

yo,((we were acting all ghetto after church listening to classical music, how ironic))church sucked a bit today(lectures and words seemed more dividing than inviting), but it was still nice to be with my friends. then we went to O Brady's for lunch. Wes and I made it through the day, on NO sleep. Last nite we sorta party hopped and then i found myself walking a mile in pouring rain at 5AM on the street to my car, it was crazy, but i loved it!

i just woke up from my nap and felt all emo n' crap, WTF mate :P just always helps to let it off my chest(previous entry).*Wheew*
**oh and i always believe we have a choice, it's never to late for much of anything.

so im thinkin' our starbucks logan is that were nocturnal, we like to work in the dark, because we don't sleep on caffeiene. i was just laughing tonight when we were working in the dark.

I like this:
"Bring on the waves and the storms--I can stand it! I will embrace it and be strong!"
"within your weakness lies your strength sleeping"

total 180
Night Night. Love to all

from bad to good.

Mon, 24 Jul 2006 08:26:32 GMT

'when you feel so tired, but you cant sleep.
stuck in reverse.'

in my thoughts, but the trail of tears is there. the tears don't flow. just look through blurred numbed vision. when i slept i felt no hurt, only to wake and feel it all in my body.
i have no idea what all went so wrong! i cant even put it together. its like a puzzle, and i just cant let it go. isnt that how is should be?

'your too in love to let it go
but if you never try uou never know.'

it haunts you. your afraid to appear weak. you seek the love around you.you keep pushing out...keep pushing out...but every now and then it all rushes in again. when someone was too dear to let them go out that way. when all you want to say is "i love you so much.. ill always be here for you," you say the opposite in actions, and you stumble on your own feet! and its hysterical. its non-sensical. what can i say--that's hurt. and we gotta just let goo! but it's hard!!

these moments leave me wondering if i will endure more heartwrrenching lessons of love in this lifetime. i guess i'm on this rollercoaster! strapped in and, well, wishin i had a hand to hold, but regardless its ok, its bound to be a thriller. I guess when you love another enough they become an essence of your being. and it may be healthy to part. but with anything other than love?? that's my question. the pain has to go soon, so i can just continue to wish good intent. i have no answers, just moving with the ebb and flow, the moment, putting one foot in front of the other. i guess the truth is , is that i still have so much emotion into it. but please dont take me and discard me because of my emotion. i found out that emotions are a great vibration, they mean a lot more than words sometimes. 4:07. im making progress everyday, its just like a rainy moment of the day, but the majority of the day is sunny. its one of those real reflective moments.

church sucked a bit today(lectures and words seemed more dividing than inviting), but it was still nice to be with my friends. Wes and I made it through the day, on no sleep. my heart hurt pretty bad, we were gonna call off. i feel a bit better. i just woke up from my nap and felt all emo n crap, wtf man :P just always helps to let it off my chest.*Wheew* night night
**oh and i always believe we have a choice, its never to late for much of anything.

our starbucks logan is that were nocturnal, we like to work in the dark, because we dont sleep on caffeiene, how silly would that be. i was just laughin tonight when we were workin in the dark.
Mariah

still feel the presence in my mind.

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 07:28:42 GMT

your really hott...imiss your kisses i miss being next to you, and holding u when u sleep. just some of the things i miss. i loved the silleness. i would just sit there in between your legs in the morning, and talk to you. i miss your voice, and uhh how u called me baby, sweetie, i miss the look in ur eyes when you were antsy. i miss your beatuiful hands. i liked when you touched me. or i held your hand. your heart was the most beautiful loving heart id seen. it said so much...it looked after me. it was strength, it was you. just some of the things i miss..i miss lying down to rest each day by your side. id just watch you, and how your eyes took in information while you watched tv, or chuckeld at some movie. i misss running to you and jumping on you, or when you carried me like your sweetheart. i miss you sleeping on me in the move theatre. or on a roadtrip or philosophising while we smoked in your driveway! ..lol imiss that so much. just want you to know i care about you so much. i just dream. i know that it will never be the same. but it was so speciall to me that you were there. in my life. it was so beautifulto me. i miss the time you moved my hand in your pants when we were driving thru some ghetto in orlando. or the time we held hands up in the sky. and i told you that i loved you from a swing that was so high above the ground giving us a thrill. i used to talk to her on the phone late at night, usually before bed. i begged her to stay on. she fell asleep once. at the park we swung together, her arms around me! 2 babies! 6 gunners...i have nothing but love...and nothing but no control of the other side. you cant make another love you, its the truth. and its okay. to think about it, is pleasurable to a degree. i want to remember. i cherish it in my mind likei do the golden friendship that i met when i lived on the island of Kona Hawaii. so much to say, but ive got nothing left to share.

needless to say, im open to the record player, being set perfect. to where it spins in course again. im open to receiving
i prob missed the most important things.

Mon, 10 Jul 2006 01:32:37 GMT

L word party tonight! lots of food, n goodies. brownies. and no not that kind. Alex and paige : ) i hope i have fun. should be just a chillin time. i still miss Lanna. wish it could be like the good ol days, but it takes two to tango. by the way, gettin to the bottom of what was before concepts of time...really opens ones eyes. im starting to feel a sense of completion, but ive barely touched the surface. i was up at 6am. and then i tried to astral travel, but simply fell asleep. my dreams consisted of a city or somethig being destructed, i dont remember. but i remember her driving me, almost kinda saving me. i think i might have been drunk or something in the dream too. wierd. ill start writing my dreams. i find that when i meditate i remember a lot of random details of my dreams. so yeah, ima go visit smyle or whatever her name is. my baby kitty. and ill write more later

meh

Wed, 05 Jul 2006 21:50:35 GMT

Independence day was a hit! with all its drama, i had a pretty nice time. Cool crowd. Justin and i went on the roof. i sliced my hand all across, battle scar. i looked at it in the dark and i was like eww, it was so warm. anyway. im glad i spoke up tonight a bit. i dont like to disrespect people, and i dont like it either. i must say i usually dont encounter such ferocity. its strange. i liked the crunch..all natural 0=. im gettin a kitty tonight, one i know, so im excited for the new family member! love n light

moe

Thu, 29 Jun 2006 01:43:15 GMT

WHoaa ooo oh oh oh Woah oh oh oh oh!

party tonight, may i forget all my troubles! its gonna be awesome. Might be moving back to VEGAS in the next yr. Iam reminded tonight that, intuition rules, and my reservoir of energy can be tapped into, making my heart very happy.

Mon, 26 Jun 2006 08:26:56 GMT

4:20AM. wishing i hadn't lost her love. Wondering how i can easily recover. they were so much fun (her/friends). Watching them makes me laugh, i hope its not goodbye. Is it over? because if the love were true i might do it again, but better. the man at the carnival is sweeping at a long nights end, of laughter n joy.

soon ill be forgettin the hurt. right now its hard to be around her. I just want to at least feel like friends. Good convos, laughter.. hugs. I miss that look in her eyes. I am in denial thoough, still beleiveing she loves me...but why..i think its because she was so loving to me. SO So amazing, i didnt tell her enough times. I am in denial, shes out the door, loving another. o boy. Lately its been different, i dont like it. Well, Wed night should be fun, friends from work and stuff are going to stoneys. i had an alright night, i spoke with Patty, and also Sean. = ) i also Saw McPhee at Kyle's. so yeah...its about time to hit the sack. been a long day

Moe

Its Been a month

Sun, 25 Jun 2006 02:38:31 GMT

OH LJ, its been a while. I figured id come back and confide in you because most people dont read in this. Not that it matters. i feel like this...i feel like one of those cool ppl, that go down in history lonely, and only after i've died i have ppl that wished they were my friends. Sometimes i wish i were around when those crazy cool ppl who had no friends needed them. I feel like one. I had fun last nite. but honestly the whole breakup thing has been rough on me. There were nights when i cried So hard. but im still around her all the time its cool. Im happy for that. the worst part is when she goes to sleep and i have nothing to hold onto. Back when i remember id get text messages which reveled the deepest desire to cuddle and what not. It was so sweet. I cant help but beleive that i put myself in this situation based on the hurt of my 1st relationship. MAybe i do think a lot, but i wish ppl wouldnt play like im dumb. they should know better. I just feel like im the oddball out, Maybe iam in social situations, but i like to beleive that im social, and that i have a LOT to give. Once people start acting rediculous i think i lose respect for them. ANyway. My Bro's Lizard just died...I feel bad for Jess cause he loveed that fuckin thing. My soul is just feeling the emptiness lately. i dont think anyone likes to be replaced, i loved Lanna so much, granted i might not have shown it. Im getting to that stage though, where i cant cry about it, but its still raw. I know for damn sure, that i shouldnt be hurtin' because i dont think she does. She has friends to distract her time 24/7. If there was one thing about my behavior i could change right now it would be to not think about LOVE. i know its a basic thing that goes round each day. But its too much on my mind. I tihnk Love will just happen to me eventually. But i hope that people start wanting to be my friend rather than taking me on a date, because a girl needs friends. so anyway.....i guess im done complaining. "if only" she still loved me the same. : (

on another note, HIgher Balance is treating me beautifully, new friends are great, and Summer is still here so im happy about that. Today's place to move to According to MOM is Vegas im glad new Mexico is scratched. We'll see im content here for another year or so.

peaaaaace for real

wow this is sweet..

Fri, 23 Jun 2006 18:12:23 GMT

I knew it all along, but i was lied to, now i can let it go.

LOVE 1: Not so much to me "toally" liking you. See you a la Starbucks.

Ex Love: oh ok maybe maybe just a wee wee bit
yesssssss! are you chilling at home tonite?

...Heres the biggie to the hottie.
so i totally l;eft you a myspace mesagie but i titaoolly dfucked it up but i lthibnk that your awesome and im, sorry for everyone that i fucked up tonite and im sorry i totally quit starckss and im sorry for that but i thinkyou are aweosme i tltaly like you but hopefully youhang out sometime even thot thisd hasppern, this is why i am a pothead, and this is wehy i smoke pot , is cuz i totally dont have to worry about sbhuit. i like you and im sorry, but i totally hope you hang out / and im so drunl and this sis why i dont think i should drink anyomroe . sorry kylaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dont hate. dont me and irQI. we have fun. hang out i hope sorry gor stuff. dont hate ill fet over everything. damn man im sorry you had to see my drink. no such a good thing huh... sorruy dudebro. but you cute, and have a goodnite and sorry that i liked you asnd assumed you like me im kinda stupid i smoke wayyyyyyy much. but uhm...... be freinds? yeah iohpe ok bye kylaaaaaa sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry peace message me bback if we re cool like that no doubt song... i kow were cool... ok peace nad sorry foreverything and everything

MORE = )... yikes....

i didnt relize i sent that... hahah sorry.

you can hate me now.

About her coming out..."hahah yeah im single so make it soon. jk." JK my ass LOl...Sweet..gotta love the girlfreinds who move on like that and lie about it. take no offense

hi mates

Tue, 14 Mar 2006 07:39:16 GMT

right, so im listnin' to Dylan, got some sweet songs today of him playin with Johnny Cash.

My mama is leaving in a couple hourse, inthe wee of the morning, ima miss her so much, i really hate when she leaves, especially because ill be with my step dad. Im prayin her flight goes smooth......I love my mama!! :P im talkin to Martha and Lanna. Lanna beleives im a player...silly right?

ok peace, oh ya, i passed my drug test:starbucks next week, best barista youll ever see :D

Love,
Moe

crikes?

Sat, 11 Mar 2006 07:33:12 GMT

photography is such a beautiful art. it gets me in the heart, especially when i know the tangible of the photos, yet i want to "know" those people in the photos, and so will those who eventually...see these art works, and simple conveyings of humanity. *sigh* i want some days..to be feminine again, but its not bout gender its about embracing my true self. some day i feel to casual for my own good.

Today was a nice get away, Lanna, friends and I hit up Miami. walked for 8 horas, went into some cool chakra nine store, where i bought three lovely healing crystals, each with their own special properties. I have not slept in 4 days!! i think something is seriously wrong, and if i continue, i will scar my once healthy body. tis wierd not being home much, and not chasing my dreams. though i desperately want to, im holding back. Dream big and always adjust, some days i feel if the world leaves me behind, i will be okay, maybe its because i imagine life without them sporadically, or i imagine my 'being' not good enough for them, and therefore not embraced as i always desired, and therefore in my eyes left behind somehow. I want compassion for all..i realized today, with the curious looks, and the plain uncommon, distasteful ones that being in the skin of lesbian is sometimes strange, and that respect should be urgent for all walks of life. OK im done ranting...Cody n Amanda went out, its 2am, Lanna is in bed, and i dont know what ima do next, hopefully pass out for good, its ZZZ time. :D overall i had a nice day, experiencing the city, being with the one i love, and diggin my heels into the sands of South Beach. What is it that i should be doing? hm mmm hmmm....goodnight!

Tue, 14 Feb 2006 06:56:32 GMT

Hi, its been so long.......we have lots of catching up to do.

heres a quick synopsis: see i have some things going through my head. i look back at some people i placed on pedestals, and who i admired and thought of as life changing. i think maybe i gave them too much power, too much credit, and what if they really didnt hold all the answers they lead me to beleive they held. i still find her to be my soul sister, hehe.

i got a lil pissy tonight thinking i might be fucked with. i guess im pretty afraid of people not being open enough with me, because then like the difficulties get layered down when they should get resolved. Christy had mentioned some of these feelings and i sense impatience and mistrust in humanity because of her hurt. See that kinda rubbed off on me...and i got the vibes that things should be more perfect from the ones who i love and who 'love' me. i guess i do hope for a lot....at the same time i know that if those loves/friends dont line up in certain ways or nething its okay, because i have a huge love for people and i would go through a lot to maintain an equilibrium between others and myself, and our emotions.

today was awesome, we climbed a dollar tree$ and Amanda ended up gettin cody Crickets for V-Day, we got all kinds of sweet decorations for today. we then proceeded to go fly Kites in the park. i was spongebob, lanna was spidey, amanda was fantastic four, w00t. i had fun runnin around like a retard. we had some good laughs. spongebob is stuck in a tree. went to pet kingdom, cici's pizza....

Lanna got me the sweetest necklace ever saying 'because your mine: i walk the line'..its pretty special. We all liked our lil gifts. and today i hope she likes mine. im officially dating her ; ) This is kinda long, but i guess its just cool to type away. I really do need sleep cus Cody and Lanna have suprises for us tommarow, we will be blindfolded! and hopefully treated with compassion, No killing. j/k i love you all and this is me saying goodnight.

-Moe

welcome to Port Charlotte, home of the ladies

Sun, 18 Dec 2005 11:07:16 GMT

FUN NITE--les like party. HIghlights: Jons bf. LANNA.&.LEAH. and i cant wait to see our pic of like 25 ppl on the bed..hehe. its cute as fuck. (I love santa)shes hott..haha. i really did enjoy my nite i felt home....and i just took pics outside it was raining souls. i could see them in my photos. Pretty strange, i wasn't alone...it was cool that i met Leah, shortly after she added me on myspace, and that wasnt even supposed to happen..or was it? *inquisitive look*...i got 3 numbers tonight, not bad. im very happy. this marks the start of a nice break. it was great being with the gang tonite(Jess, Jon, Diedre) = )i deff had to watch my tits tonite. i love when ppl are not serious, we had a cool ass nite, it was nice to leave town, and meet new people, best of all, we were sober and had that much fun. of course all the girls there weren't

moe

Sat, 17 Dec 2005 22:25:56 GMT

i feel like the storm is over, in myself. its so calm in there. the other nite we went to a gay club in Sarasota, too bad they upped the bar to 21+ since then. We had a lot of fun, it was supposed to be college nite tho. ah well. i will never forget this blonde chic i went up to. she was extremely drunk so i figured why not. ill never forget the intensity of her eyes, and her drunken smile. i wish she was more coherent because i dont think she even knew the balls it took for me to do it. HAha. i drew a picture of her to remember her.Party tonight...hope its good...Mmm thats about it. if anyone wants to hang (239)287.1512.

much love/Peace